My Life as a Cloned Mall Cop (and Smiley)
by TorseHits
Summary: In the year 2075, Paul Blart has been cloned multiple times to protect malls all over the world, and the clone that protects the Tremorton mall is going to have an adventure he'll never forget.


The year was 2075, and Paul Blart's clone was about to go to work at his mall in Tremorton. Paul was riding to the mall on his hoveround and saw some hooligans at the skate park down by the mall! He noticed that the skaters were up to no good, and started making trouble in the neighborhood. and the skatt-er was simonov and he was selling kush on the wheels to pay for a train ticket to meet his love bft. Simonov threatened Paul with many insults, such as "your mom" and "across the country".

Paul Blart farted in his general direction, knocking back the Brazilian loser with such force that he fell down Jew-nose forward. Semenoff's nose then deflated as he hit the ground, sending all his plastic surgery for the perfect sniffer down the drain. He yelled out, "OOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GOY, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SHEKELS IT COST ME TO GET MY NOSE DONE? OI GEVALT!" as he held his nose while sitting on the ground. He got back up mumbling something about the '6 million'. w/ fury in simonovs eyes he pounced on paul-chan ravaging him w/ his small micro jew penis, and starting yelling random shit while looking will smith dead in the eye (which started fresh prince of bel-air). Suddenly, the clock struck 5, and everyone at the skate park knew who was about to show up to clean up the scene.

And out of absolutely nowhere came out the Silver Shell straight from Japan still dressed in a samurai outfit. At this point, Paul's clone was completely dumbstruck and attempted to flee the site, but Simonov's crying guilt-tripped him into feeling sorry for the kike. Guilt tripped by the 6 million and Paul's family connection to the SS, he gave Semenov his shekels. RKO OUTTA NO WHERE, RANDY ORTON, SPACE DANDY AND THAT FAT GUY FROM LOST(the ending blowed btw) TACKLED THE SMALL DICKED JEW AND GANGBANGED HIM AS THE SILVER SHELL WATCHED BLUSHING WHILE WANKING HIS STEEL PLATED COCK-A-R00. Brad and Tuck strolled in the mall and Brad was on his phone calling Jenny to come down to the skate park down by the mall, since it was 5 o' clock, but little did he know what he and Tuck would get thrown into.

Following a short explosion, a SegWay went boomala and soared across the sky, then hitting Tuck in the fucking face at Mach 3 speed. The Segway then flattened Tuck and then proceeded to roll into the mall, creating a hole in the outer wall of the mall. Paul stopped the SegWay and got off. He gripped the belt loops on his pants with his hands in the shape of a hook and looked to Brad and said, "You don't get to bring friends". knuckles the enchilada helped paul and gave him lvl 3 thirst and patted his ass while quoting kamina "don't lose your way" and flew like a majestic bird. Jenny received the call and flew to the skate park down by the mall.

Jenny expands dong. She then landed at the skate park, seeing Paul's clone, and with her now-expanding dong, she became aroused by Paul, as the immense pounds of fat had been shaved off during the cloning process to create a harder, better, faster, stronger Blart. Blart looked over to Jenny and noticed her large, expanding dong. He asked her, "If I pull that off will you die?". blane (blart/bane) says "it would be extremely painful, then cia guy dashes to the rescue punching will. in his stupid music making face hole. Meanwhile, Alan Parsons shows up out of fucking nowhere because do you expect this fucking fanfiction to have proper continuity?

"It's time to get grooving to some real nigga music" Alan Parson says as he begins to blast Lil B from a boombox. After the Silver Shell asked why it was so well-made, Alan replied saying that he was an artist - a production artist. Alan, upon realizing he misspoke, corrected himself, "No, I'm a performance artist. Vaporwave fisting is 300 bucks". ICE CREAM AND CAKE DO THE ICE CREAM AND CAKE, ICE CREAM AND CAKE DO THE I CREAM AND CAKE. Eric Woolfson rises from the dead and says "ALAN, YOU OWE ME MONEY FROM THE PROJECT BECAUSE I WROTE ALL THE SONGS". Alan turns to face Eric Woolfson and says "Fatass ugly shut the fuck up". FUCK KEVIN DURANT. Alan, after changing into his dungeon master outfit, he covered his nipples in soft serve vanilla ice cream and began to use whipped cream as lube as he fisted his anus. FUCK KOBE FUCKING KINGSTON AND HIS FRUIT JUICE SIPPN' ASS. And now, "I Can't Tell You Why", performed by the Eagles.

"Who called my name?" spoke Kevin as he rolled up on the scene in his pimpin' Ferarri. An angelic figure descended from the sky, proclaiming, "It is I, Lil B, god of all rapkind and master of the freestyle". Upon observing the chaos of people dancing, fucking, masturbating, and doing all sorts of shit, Lil B decided it'd be best if he got the fuck out of that place. He saw many things that he did not want to. SKETCHERS: Light'em ups. And just like that, the chaos caused Ponk's Bakery and Smiley to reunite and show up at the scene.

Kevin Durant, still unhappy that Kobe Bryant was better than him knew there was only one way to settle the score - hopskotch. Kobe fell all over himself being a fucking lanky nigger, and as such went to train for the hopscotch competition, and to control his lankiness he went to train with Lanky Kong. Meanwhile, Kevin Durant smugly laughed to himself, and rubbed his nigger dick with stacks of money covered in the cum of men that have cucked for him. inflatable iggy azeala. Ponk's Bakery begins to set up the stage for their concert.

But as they are trying to set up their instruments, a meteor falls out of the sky - no, wait! It was that one bad robot alien from the show! [Roundabout plays in the distance]. Jenny, after crashing the plane, with no survivors, proceeds to expand the dong deep into the robot. idc what any of you niggas say rihanna was askn' for that shit. Ponk's Bakery continues to set up for their show, other than Yessie, who's masturbating to the sight of Jenny fucking Vexus.

Jamel, who was hanging from the Batman tree began to smoke his marijuana casually in front of the children. The children smoked with bad influence Hood Uncle Jameg, and the police beat him senseless for being a fucking nigger. He got the succ. bitches aint shit shit tentacle dick. Ponk's Bakery continues to set up for their concert.

Donald Trump, who had been president for more than sixty years now showed up in his hover-limo ready to experience the amazingness of Ponk's Bakery and Smiley. Donald Trump promptly had a heart attack from seeing Smiley. But Donald Trump could not be stumped by a mere heart attack. He got back up and gave Smiley an uppercut that sent him flying back to Mexico. where he met krazz and krazz sucked his dik 4 tha west of his lyfe "mmmm i love mexico fuud". Donald Trump helped Ponk's Bakery and Smiley finish set up and even joined them in the concert where they performed...

Holyshitmypenisunfoldedwrong. As they began to play the smooth hip experimental jazz-noise fusion the weeaboos began milking their titties for free? I'LL BE THE ROOUUUUUNDABOUUUUUUUT. Trump told Smiley, "You're fired," and kicked him back to Mexico before everyone caught on fire cuz his mixtape was too hot 4u. NO, UR GAY **YIFFS EVERYPONY.** The concert ended and Yessie saw Jenny in the audience, and proceeded to walk up to her.

Knuckles bowed on stage. The end.


End file.
